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Posts Tagged ‘giveaways’

My Dear Friends,

Please allow me to thank you for ardently admiring and loving me. I trust your parents are in good health?

I’ve been summoned by a certain Monsieur Random Integer Generator to announce the winner of the Goodnight Mr. Darcy Giveaway.

Before I proceed, may I be so bold as to convey my deepest appreciation to Miss Coombs and Miss Arnold for their splendid portrayal of my hot hook-up fortuitous assignation with one Elizabeth Bennet?

I confess I would have addressed you sooner, but I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.

Can you blame me? She’s hot, right?

There was also the dilemma of selecting just one recipient amongst a bevy of bosom-heaving broads an impressive coterie, all in possession of sizable fortunes and enviable connections.

As an honorable man, I assure you I employed all means at my disposal to arrive at a fair and impartial decision.

I wrote to esteemed colleagues for advice.

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Hello, Bonjour, Hello!

Maira Maira Maira!

Sorry for the slight delay in announcing the winner of our giveaway for a signed copy of Thomas Jefferson: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Everything. But we had good reason.

When last we called upon the erudite, ever-reliable mathematical genius Monsieur Random Integer Generator, he was feasting on veal piccata in Milan. As you can imagine, it is not easy tracking down this raconteur connoisseur globe-trotting flaneur restaurateur. Wherever he goes, people want him to pick his nose numbers and winners.

He’s always in demand. Yes, he’s that good.

And for you, dear readers, we would never settle for anything less.

So we sent him a special telegram requesting his services.

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Last week, these lollipops mysteriously appeared in the mail.

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Cornelius had been dying to taste a caper-flavored lollipop ever since he read Dan Krall’s The Great Lollipop Caper. 

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Despite the warning, he was sure he’d never be appalling.

Well.

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He removed the wrapper. The lollipop was strangely smooth and unsticky. No smell.

Lick.

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Lick.

Lick lick.

Nope, not him. He was a good bear, a likeable bear — no lollipop in the whole wide world could ever change that.

Oh?

Without asking permission, he raided the cookie jar.

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When he got thirsty, he took to the bottle.

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Hiccup!

Then, I’m sorry to report, he began writing nasty words.

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*covers eyes*

Lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick.

He decided he would do every naughty thing the children did in the book!

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And that wasn’t all.

My stars, you WILL NOT believe what he did next.

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Desecrated the title of an otherwise tasty book. GASP!

Beyond appalling!

Antidote lollipop to the rescue!

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Lick.

Lick.

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Lick lick.

Phew!

Guess Dan’s story is true.

Read The Great Lollipop Caper with great caution.

DO NOT eat any caper-flavored lollipoopspops unless you have Antidote lollipops on hand.

Cornelius has learned his lesson. He’s back to being his well-behaved self.

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Well, almost.

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lollipop caper cover

♥ For a chance to win a SIGNED COPY of The Great Lollipop Caper + lollipops, enter the giveaway at this post  (if you dare).

Deadline for entries: Midnight (EDT) Friday, May 24, 2013.

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Copyright © 2013 Jama Rattigan of Jama’s Alphabet Soup. All rights reserved.

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If you’re in the mood for a tempestuous tale of jealousy, greed and world domination, you’ve come to the right place.

The frenetically talented and unusually hungry author, illustrator, animator and art director Dan Krall (yes, he’s tall) has just today released a brand new shiny briny picture book called The Great Lollipop Caper (Simon & Schuster, 2013)! Yay, Lollipops!

Some would say respectable grown men shouldn’t write about sweet lollipops, but here’s the lick: at first glance, this may seem like a simple, albeit saccharine story. But all you diehard sourpusses will be happy to hear this tome has a testy tart edge — it taps into the inner torment (for crying out loud) of one little green wrinkly caper. Oy, a caper’s cautionary caper — bite me!

Before I tempt you any further, a couple of party accoutrements.

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1. Kidlit Cares, an online auction spearheaded by author Kate Messner to benefit Red Cross relief efforts for victims of Superstorm Sandy, is in full swing. Bid on manuscript critiques, in-person and Skype author visits, phone consults with agents and editors, writing workshops and more. Click here for the full list of items available for bidding this week. Round 2 will begin next Monday, November 12, hosted by author Joanne Levy. You can also follow the auction at the newly created Kidlit Cares Facebook Page.

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