friday feast: presidential poetics

~ jama

“Light travels faster than sound. That’s why most people seem bright until you hear them speak.” ~ Anonymous 


Oh, come on. 

Stop shuddering.

You haven’t even read the poem yet!

Due to recent happy events in the political world (Obama, Obama, yay Obama!), I thought it was only fair to give the outgoing leader of the free world one last chance to speak his peas. After all, he has shaked many hands and put food on his family.

Udderly amazing.

And, it’s PIE MONTH here at alphabet soup. Political pies are not usually my thing, but for purposes of comparison and contrast, I felt Mr. Bush deserved some hair time.

Obama = soaring rhetoric.

Bush = saddle sores.

How could we have stooped so low?

*

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen
And uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish
Can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

~ Actual Bushisms aesthetically arranged by Richard Thompson of The Washington Post

Gallop on over to Sarah Reinhard’s Just Another Day of Catholic Pondering for today’s Poetry Stampede.


**Edited to add: Gregory of GottaBook reminded me that Snopes has a full rundown of the origins of these Bushisms. Thanks Gregory!

29 thoughts on “friday feast: presidential poetics”

  3. Hoo and ha! Thanks for the laugh.
    Why did he ever say “make the pie higher”?
    Jules, 7-Imp

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  8. I first saw this on a poetry forum in 2000, before he stole the–ooops, I mean–got into power. It still makes me giggle, despite everything.

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  11. Presidential Poetics
    Elaine M.
    Jama,
    Thanks for making my day! There’s nothing like a good laugh early on a Friday. It’s great to have so many “Bushisms” all put together in one place. I’ve got to make a copy of this and hang it up in my office.

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  13. Oh, my gosh, I can’t stop laughing! I had heard most of these, but a couple were new. And thanks for the Snopes ref. — I love Snopes.
    Now, I must go see, on this fine morning: Is my children hungry?

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  14. Thanks, Gregory. I had actually seen that snopes page and forgot all about rereading it and then including a link to it today. I fear this Bush disease may be contaigious (gasp).

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  15. Re: Presidential Poetics
    Just don’t go memorizing it.
    Also, it could be dangerous to your present pursuit of writing poetry. I’m just saying . . .

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  18. Brilliant!
    This is perfect. And totally hilarious. And I am celebrating right along with you.
    ~eisha

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  20. From a. fortis
    Fabulous! I forgot about this one, though I vaguely remember seeing it when it was first published. I love it. 🙂

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  22. This makes me want to shout some rhetoric of my own: Climb the peaks of meringue! Pie for the people! Jama for President! ooops. That last just slipped off my fork…

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  24. Um…
    This is what I love about Poetry Friday. I would never have thought to put these Bushisms into a poem.
    This is also why I love term limits!

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  28. Just like everyone else, I’m rolling on the floor laughing! The quote, the picture, your mind-reading act (“Oh, come on. Stop shuddering. You haven’t even read the poem yet!”) and then, of course, the poem. And maybe even the round up site. (I didn’t say that. At least not in a mean way, just as an observation…)

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