RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
GIANT ZUCCHINI ARE ON THE LOOSE!
It happens every year. It doesn’t take much — maybe a little extra rain, or you leave town for a day or two. You innocently go out back to check your vegetable garden to find Mother Nature has GONE WILD.
Suddenly, you feel very small and helpless,
as your squash take on a life of their own.
People you haven’t heard from in years repeatedly call, begging you to pick up your “kids.”
Sometimes, you can’t even tell them apart from your other babies.
Friends, don’t despair. You are not alone in this. Anyone who has ever tried to grow their own veggies has faced this crisis at one time or another. Some of them even show up on your doorstep bearing gifts.
No need to hide from these well-meaning folks. Just keep calm, invite them in, and call in the chips!
Just a few weeks ago, I was one of those people who dreaded the onslaught of excess zucchini. I didn’t feel like stir frying it with bacon, grating it for omelets, tossing it in salads, or dipping it in ranch dressing. I’d even baked some zucchini bread — and while it was tasty, I couldn’t really impress anyone with it because it was so, well, ho-hum. (Um, well thanks, zucchini bread again? Right Jama, you’re beyond exciting.)
Then, one day, while prudently minding my own business, my finely tuned olfactories picked up a positively orgasmic aroma drifting about the internet.
Chocolate! Yes! My love! My true friend! Let me kiss your antioxidants!
I followed the scent to Robin Brande’s blog (home of adorable dogs and mucho chocolata). Seems her friend, Elizabeth, had gifted her with a loaf of Chocolate Zucchini Bread, and Robin had devoured it in less than 24 hours! Well now, Robin not only writes fabulous books; she sure as sugah knows her chocolate. Lucky for us, Elizabeth shared the recipe with Robin, who posted it on her blog.
I made it, I made it!
Got some nice unsweetened cocoa powder and everything.
Questions have been raised: is zucchini surrounded by this much sugar still healthy?
Robin’s well-informed, astute reply: “this is practically salad.”
So, my friends, invite those giant green suckers into your home and introduce them to some good quality chocolate. Let them party down with some eggs, flour, vanilla and oil in a warm climate. Chances are real good you’ll never have a surplus of squash in your kitchen ever again. Goodbye, ho-hum zucchini bread, HELLO bliss. Nom nom yum diddle um!
ELIZABETH’S PHENOMENAL CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI BREAD
3 cups flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 T cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 cups sugar
3 eggs or equivalent egg replacer (I use Ener-G egg replacer, which is made from potato starch)
1 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups shredded zucchini (about 2-3 medium zucchini)
1 cup chopped nuts
1 pkg (12-oz) chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease two 9×5″ loaf pans with canola spray.
In a large bowl, combine flour, cocoa, cinnamon, soda, baking powder, and salt. Mix well. In a separate bowl, beat eggs (or egg replacer and water) with the sugar until well combined. Add oil and vanilla. Beat to combine, then stir in zucchini. Add wet bowl to dry bowl and stir until just moistened. Stir in nuts and chocolate chips. Spoon evenly into pans. Bake 55-60 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pans, then turn onto racks.
Cook’s Note: As far as possible, use organic and fairly-traded ingredients.
The best way to eat your veggies —
unbearably delicious!
Jama's Alphabet Soup 
Mmm. That sounds good. Thanks for sharing. And thanks to Robin, too!
I didn’t make the raspberry treat this morning, btw, Jama. I wasn’t organized enough. Maybe for the next visitor.
Jules
7-Imp
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My mom used to make chocolate zucchini bread when we were young, and I loved it. She AND my grandfather grew tons of the squash–we were always overloaded. Looks yummy!
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Now you have two recipes to try next time you have company :).
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So, you come from a family of squashers!! Best make some of this recipe just for old times sake :).
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Tanita Says 🙂
I’ve been reading Chocolate & Zucchini — a blog — for a long while. This is HER recipe — and it’s downright tasty. Knowing me, I do a bit of tweaking here and there, but it’s nice to have a good basic recipe to go from…
One year we had so much zucchini, I had the idea of drying it. It’s a great idea — it makes a great soup ingredient, and you can use it as is in zucchini bread… it gives you something chewy to nosh on with that chocolate. Yum.
(I can see, as I write this and my mouth waters, why dieting is really never going to work for me. Oh, well.)
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Re: Tanita Says 🙂
Wow! Didn’t realize there was an entire blog devoted to chocolate and zucchini. Thanks for the recipe link. Will definitely check it out!
(Back later)
Okay, checked it out — it’s about a lot more than C & Z, and she has a couple of books out! C’est trés bien! Merci beaucoup!
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Hi Jama, Your amusing article brings to mind the ribbing I get from the boys about how many different guises the noble zucchini took in our household in Malibu. I think their least favorite was the stuffed zucchini, but I don’t recall too many objections when I made Korean style pancakes with them. I grated them and rang the water out of them, added garlic, soy, sesame oil, a little sugar, sesame seeds, eggs and flour. Then, I fried the batter by the spoonfuls until the pancakes were brown. ( Sometimes, water cress or bean sprouts were added for variety) We ate them with a spicy sauce and rice and now, it is a favorite of my daughter -in-laws! Love, Your Sis Syl
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I love fresh zucchini. With or without chocolate!
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Re: Tanita Says 🙂
Oh, yeah, it’s definitely about more than just that. Those cookbooks are relatively newish — once upon a time, she was just a blogger like the rest of us!
Anyway — here’s another take on zucchini bread — a savory one, from my friend Elle’s blog. Zucchini. Parmesan. Possibly a match made in heaven.
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Definitely going to try this one.
The car seat picture made me laugh. My daughters did something like that once with a giant zucchini — dressed it in baby clothes and put it in their stroller.
Janet
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Re: Tanita Says 🙂
Oh yum! This is exciting. More new ways to use zucchini. Thanks so much :)!!
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Korean pancakes!! Yay! I’ve made omelets, but never thought to add a little flour and those spices. Will definitely have to try these. *Mouth watering*
Thanks, Syl!! 😀
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You’re living dangerously by saying that in public. *zucchini onslaught forthcoming*
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Are you sure it was a zucchini dressed in baby clothes, and not someone else’s child? It’s very hard to tell them apart sometimes 😉 . . .
You’ll love the recipe. Chocolate rules!
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Bring on the zucchini!
I used to have a co-worker who grew them big as baseball bats. I relieved her of many zucchini that would otherwise have gone tragically homeless.
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