friday feast: two funnies from j. patrick lewis

Happy Poetry Friday!

Today, I’m serving up some light fare to tickle your funny bone, compliments of the one and only J. Patrick Lewis. Did you know he’s the featured poet in the Summer 2010 Bumbershoot Annual? Five of his mathematically themed poems are included (three related to food!). Who could resist such titles as, “Edgar Allan Poe’s Apple Pie,” or “Edward Lear’s Elephant with Hot Dog”?

Hope you enjoy this two course meal. Be sure to check out Pat’s other three poems, as well as the rest of the issue (esp. “Sylvia Plath’s Chicken Crosses the Road”). Fun!

Nick Sherman/flickr

by J. Patrick Lewis

The 15″ pan pizza
sliced in 3″ squares
was so inviting

I couldn’t resist
eating 19-1/2 pieces.

Forgive me, Florence.
You were hungry, too.
I put the box back
in the refrigerator

Beside the white chickens,
forgetting how little
pizza was left.


by J. Patrick Lewis

Whose shorts are these? I wish I knew
Who sent them to me, all brand new —
Five dollars, ninety cents a pair.
They’re not my size. I’m forty-two.

But fourteen pairs? Now who could wear
That many without ten to spare?
If nine are cotton (cotton blend)
And five are silk, then let’s compare:

On each set, how much did he spend?
Arithmetic is just the friend
To multiply, divide or add.
And what’s the total in the end?

These underwear are not half bad
With lions, tigers — stripes and plaid . . .
My jockey shorts are looking sad.
My jockey shorts are looking sad.

~ both poems from Bumbershoot: Issue 6, Summer 2010

And yes, there really are Robert Frost Boxer Shorts available for purchase:

The quote says: “We dance round in a ring and suppose / but the secret sits in the middle and knows.”

Dance over to Wild Rose Reader, where the beautiful and charming Elaine Magliaro is hosting the Roundup. I’m pretty sure she’d appreciate your offering her a square or two of pizza.

Have a good weekend, and TTFN!


Copyright © 2010 Jama Rattigan of jama rattigan’s alphabet soup. All rights reserved.