Mr. Cornelius, a diehard Downton Abbey fan, was beside himself the other day when four members of the
Crawley Clawley family accepted his invitation to tea.
He’d been going on and on about how much he’s enjoying Season 5 because it’s mainly about love, romance and secrets. He likes the warm and comfortable relationship between Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes, is happy Isobel is hooking up with Lord Merton (nice digs!), is relieved Tom Branson said goodbye to annoying Miss Bunting, loves that handsome Atticus is eyeing up Rose, and is tickled pink about Dowager Countess Violet’s secret past with Russian Prince Thing-a-ma-jig. 🙂
While Lady Mary’s hotel assignation with Lord Gillingham had Cornelius tsk-tsking for a few days (scandalous! loose woman! how risqué!), he gradually came around and revealed his own secret: he’s had a crush on Lady Mary since Season 1 (boy can she rock a pair of opera gloves).
He’s not intimidated in the least by either Tony Gillingham or Charles Blake. They can jostle all they want for Mary’s affections. Cornelius will charm her with his secret weapon.
The well-brushed Clawleys arrived promptly at 4, the epitome of studied grace and good breeding, with nary a complaint about their long journey crossing the pond. It seems a stowaway named Paddington regaled them with funny stories and freely shared his marmalade sandwiches, insisting Robert was a dead ringer for his friend Mr. Brown.
Cornelius was thrilled when Violet presented him with their gift from London: Boomf Magic Mallows via Kate Middleton’s brother James. And look at what was printed on them! Coolio!
Before he had a chance to taste one, Lady Mary whispered in his ear.
“I have a secret! Do you know why I decided Tony probably wasn’t for me? It’s because Charles has a hidden talent. See for yourself!”
* * *
“I can’t resist a man with a voice like that!” Lady Mary swooned.
Cornelius was crestfallen. But only for an instant. Time to whip out his secret weapon.
“If I loved you (and I do)!, I would give you a box of these every single day!”
“OH!” Lady Mary turned scarlet, her eyelashes fluttering. “Are these what I think they are?”
“Christopher Elbow painted chocolate hearts. I ordered them especially for you from my friends at Chocolate Chocolate.”
“No man or bear has EVER given me these before! You must really love me!”
And with that, Robert, Cora, Violet and Lady Mary sat down to tea, feasting (politely, of course) on Boomf, chocolates, cookies, and conversation hearts. Violet was relieved we didn’t live in a wigwam.
Now that she had Cornelius, Lady Mary didn’t have to choose between Tony and Charles — so she ate them.
Afterwards, Robert and Cornelius played cars,
and Mary and Cornelius played with his miniature tea set.
“By the way,” Mary said, “I have another secret!” Cornelius rolled his eyes.
“I’m going to leave Downton to become a jazz singer!”:
* * *
Another reason to love Mary! Cornelius was happy she was moving to America to pursue her dream.
“One moment!” said Cora, who had been uncharacteristically quiet all afternoon. She slowly removed her floppy hat. “I will not be outdone. I, too, have a secret!”
Hoo Boy. Cornelius took another swig of Mrs. Patmore’s Pudding tea to steel himself.
“To heck with Mr. Bricker,” Cora said, “My real name’s Sadie and I’m a Hothead. Let’s rock!”
* * *
Well, that was a tip top tea! Hooray for the Clawleys!
We wish you all a very ♥Happy Valentine’s Day♥.
Hope your weekend is full of chocolates, hearts, cookies, music, marshmallows, happy chatting with loved ones and tea!
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PRESIDENTIAL MISADVENTURES GIVEAWAY WINNER!
With all these bear shenanigans going on, it was a little tricky convincing Monsieur Random Integer Generator to come to our aid yet again. But a gentleman through and through, and a dashingly handsome one at that, he would never dream of leaving us in the lurch. We offered him a generous portion of squirrel stew, which he politely refused. He made up for it by devouring 43,000 jelly beans, 538 cherry pies, 78 gallons of ice cream, and 670 pounds of Georgia peanuts. Then he took a wee skinny dip in the Potomac à la John Q. Adams before randomly selecting our winner —
*drum drum drum roll*
Please send your snail mail address to: readermail (at) jamakimrattigan (dot) com so we can get your copy of Presidential Misdaventures out to you pronto. 🙂
Thanks, everyone, for your comments and clerihews (Happy President’s Day)!
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The warm and lovely Cathy Mere is hosting the Roundup at Merely Day by Day. Sashay on over and check out the full menu of poetic goodness being served up in the blogosphere this week. 🙂
Bear Hugs and Kisses,
Mr. Cornelius and the Clawleys
Friend is a word of Royal tone,
Friend is a poem all alone.
~ The Persian Poet, 12th century
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♥ When it comes to love and romance, CHOCOLATE is, was, and will forever be the ultimate secret weapon.
♥ Boomf Magic Mallows are super kewl . . . any of your digital images can be used for personalized marshmallows. They’re based in London, but ship worldwide. Fun novelty gift for any occasion.
♥ Chocolate Chocolate is the BEST chocolate shop anywhere. Visit if you’re in the DC area, or order online any of their delectable bon bons, bars, artisanal + European collections, small batch house truffles or other to-die-for goodies (tell them Cornelius sent you). 🙂
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This post is also being linked to Beth Fish Read’s Weekend Cooking, where all are invited to share their food-related posts. Brush your fur, put on your best bib, and come join the fun!
Copyright © 2015 Jama Rattigan of Jama’s Alphabet Soup. All rights reserved.