friday feast: presidential poetics

“Light travels faster than sound. That’s why most people seem bright until you hear them speak.” ~ Anonymous 


Oh, come on. 

Stop shuddering.

You haven’t even read the poem yet!

Due to recent happy events in the political world (Obama, Obama, yay Obama!), I thought it was only fair to give the outgoing leader of the free world one last chance to speak his peas. After all, he has shaked many hands and put food on his family.

Udderly amazing.

And, it’s PIE MONTH here at alphabet soup. Political pies are not usually my thing, but for purposes of comparison and contrast, I felt Mr. Bush deserved some hair time.

Obama = soaring rhetoric.

Bush = saddle sores.

How could we have stooped so low?

*

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen
And uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish
Can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

~ Actual Bushisms aesthetically arranged by Richard Thompson of The Washington Post

Gallop on over to Sarah Reinhard’s Just Another Day of Catholic Pondering for today’s Poetry Stampede.


**Edited to add: Gregory of GottaBook reminded me that Snopes has a full rundown of the origins of these Bushisms. Thanks Gregory!