Welcome to Poetry Friday at Alphabet Soup!

Some of you may remember when I shared, “What Not to Write on the Back Jacket of Your Debut Collection,” from Scottish poet Helena Nelson’s delightful book, Down with Poetry! (HappenStance, 2016). Well, here are two more ‘unsuitable,’ rabble-rousing, anti-poetry rib ticklers designed to keep any literary snobs in check. Yes, poetry is SERIOUS BUSINESS. But that also makes it the perfect subject for serious satire, and Nelson is so good at it.

See if these don’t give you a good lift. 😀

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MRS N ENTERS THE LITERARY WORLD

I know it's hard to believe me when I say
(watch my lips)
I once found it hard to get my poems published.
I used to get--Rejection Slips.

In those days the little magazines
--sole recipients of my writing--
clearly needed waking-up--
their editors were uninviting.

As time went by I grew more bold--
no doubt I was inspired by The Muse.
I won elevation by a device
which happily transformed their views.

The purchase of a Wonderbra
which I wore to a poetry slam in Fife
at the cost of £19.99
was the single thrust that changed my life.

I took two poems, short and sweet
and pinned one neatly to each cup
and then I raised my cleavage up,
dangling the poems in mid-air,
suspended like Parnassus where
my readers (those abreast) could stare.

And thus it was a genre started,
my coup de bra, my magnum opus
shared by my sisters (try and stop us.)
The world of Arts Review and Crit
refers to us--we're not part of it--
with quiet reverence as--Lit Tit.

~ Copyright © 2016 Helena Nelson. All rights reserved.

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