CONFESSION 
by Sarah Russell

There’s a spider in the bathtub.
I saw him last night, and he’s still there
this morning, though I gave him fair warning
when I brushed my teeth before bed.
I need to take a shower.
But there’s a SPIDER.
In the BATHTUB.
My Dr. Schweitzer is arguing with my Eek.
He’s small –
smaller than a shirt button –
and round and 8 legs look like 3 too many.
But he’s in the BATHTUB.
Where I SHOWER.
NAKED.
I turn on the water, and he wiggles
a couple of legs but the spray doesn’t hit him,
so I don’t get a pass from Karma.
Then my Eek takes over,
and I get a piece of toilet paper,
and he wiggles 2 legs again but doesn’t run
so my Eek doesn’t get to plead self-defense.
I try to make it painless –
a squish and done – but then I wonder
if he was just trying to say hello,
and the shower’s kind of lonely
without him in there waving at me.

~ copyright © 2018 Sarah Russell as posted at Your Daily Poem.

*

EEK! Has this ever happened to you?!

This poem made me laugh and shudder at the same time. Because we see so many spiders in our house, I rarely argue with my Dr. Schweitzer anymore. No waffling with my conscience, no reverence for life. It’s either us or them.

Scariest scenario: I’m staggering upstairs to bed and when I reach the top landing, a wolf spider’s there to greet me (gasp! heart clutch!). I wouldn’t hesitate to kill a smaller spider. But this one’s HUGE. And FURRY. These are the largest species we see indoors.

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