watch out for flying sausages

~ jama

“A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view.” ~ Ron Sexsmith

Ready for a feel good poem?

Just press E-4 on your table top jukebox for yet another witty wonder by Pennsylvania-based poet Edwin Romond. While you’re reading, I’ll polish off my bran muffin.

BIKER DINER SERENADE
by Edwin Romond

I thought the tiny table top juke box
would only play in my booth so I pressed G-6
for a cute little tune, “The Unicorn Song.” But
its first words, There were green alligators
and long neck geese blasted all over the diner
where a biker who’d just ordered the N.R.A Omelet
yelled, “Who in hell played that?” an inquiry
echoed by one with “Build The Wall!” tattooed 
on his biceps. Suddenly there was a diner duet
of Fox News on the TV and the Irish Rovers
singing about humpty back camels.
It was the fellow eating the house special:
ham, pork roll, bacon, and scrapple
with a side order of Spam who pointed me out,
“There he is, he’s the one!” as I tried to hide
behind my egg whites and whole grain muffin
while the entire diner got to hear about all those
silly unicorns laughing and splashing 
as Noah’s ark pulled away. Some bikers
were even moved to prayer and yelled,
“God Almighty! how long is this song?”
as verse after verse blasted through the room
filled with more chains and leather than 
an S&M support group. Amazing
how interminable 3 minutes, eighteen seconds
can seem when you’re dodging sausage links.
The last notes finally filled the greasy air
and my waitress whispered, “They’re gonna
kill you!” so I sneaked out the back door 
after pressing G-6 a second time just in case, 
to make America great again,
they’d like to sing along.

~ from Songs and Singers, © 2018
“Unicorn Rider” by Herr Nilsson (2019)

*

How’s that for a little comical comeuppance? 🙂

It’s no secret I love Romond’s sense of humor. Whether he’s telling us what English teachers really dream of, what happens when literary characters leave their books to party at night, or about his struggle to resist the siren call of donuts across the street, he’s a poet after my own heart.

In “Biker Diner Serenade,” a seemingly timid, folk-music-loving kind of guy inadvertently riles the tough guys. What an interesting juxtaposition of cute, magical unicorns with tattooed, leather-clad gun toters.

I like how Romond’s droll recollection is laced with social and political overtones.

The poem is only too timely. Romond doesn’t spare either side its stereotypes. Whole grain muffin, egg-white-eating folkies vs. pork roll, bacon-and-scrapple-loving anti-immigrant types. Divided much?

There is this subtext too — that some of the bikers who so vocally railed against the unicorn song may have secretly liked it. They dare not say so, however. That would violate their macho code.

“Prized Unicorn” by Rudy Siswanto

Whether you view this poem as just a bit of fun, or earnestly consider what’s going on beneath the surface, you must admit Romond created a believable scenario. When you thrive on anger and grievance, even a harmless folk song can set you off.

Have you been quick to assume all bikers are MAGA voters, or that people who like folk music are diehard liberals?

You just never know. And we shouldn’t assume we do. The danger lies in clinging to stereotypes of any kind. Romond’s tongue-in-cheek approach reminds us to take a good look at ourselves.

Of course now we have to hear the Irish Rovers sing “The Unicorn.” They had a great hit with their rendition in 1968. The song was actually written by Shel Silverstein, who included it on his album Inside Folk Songs (1962). The lyrics also appeared as a poem in Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends (1974).

Try picturing the diner and the reaction of those bikers. Imagine feeling threatened by this charming ditty. Some people really need to lighten up.

*

Poetry Goddesses Sylvia Vardell and Janet Wong are hosting the Roundup at Poetry for Children, where they’re celebrating the release of their new anthology, THINGS WE EAT. Ride over on your Harley or unicorn, whichever you prefer, to learn more about this tasty tome, and to check out the full menu of poetic goodness being shared around the blogosphere this week. Happy St. Paddy’s Day next week!

*Copyright © 2022 Jama Rattigan of Jama’s Alphabet Soup. All rights reserved.

47 thoughts on “watch out for flying sausages”

  1. What a marvelous poem Jama, and I love that he played it a second time, testing the fates… Unicorns and all relations are wonderful, so playful beckoning us to venture into our imagination. Thanks for his site link, the art, and the rovers song–and I didn’t know Shel Silverstein had penned it, and for all these smiles to start my day! ^_^

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  3. Oh, the Irish Rovers, takes me way back, Jama. The poem is wonderful, a laugh and maybe a bit of truth sadly in our time now.

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  4. I’m still distracted by the mini juke box… that’s just magical. What a rollick-y way to start a day, and I appreciate your thoughtful undergirding, too. Here’s to rainbows and unicorns and self-reflection! Thanks so much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that juke box too — wish I had one of my own. And I like the word “undergirding.” Makes me think I wore supportive undergarments while writing this post. 😀

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  8. HA! I L.O.V.E. Edwin Romond! “God Almighty! how long is this song?”
    And your commentary “Some people really need to lighten up.” is spot on.
    Thank you for the laugh, Jama. I really needed it today. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hahahahaha. Love this one, Jama. And I especially love your “When you thrive on anger and grievance, even a harmless folk song can set you off.” So true. Too many of us are thriving on anger and grievance, looking for any excuse to be confrontational and belligerent…It makes me sad…and nervous.

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    1. You’re so right, Laura. Everyone is SO confrontational about everything these days. It almost feels like people are looking for ways to feel offended.

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  12. I’m thinking about unicorns in a whole new way now! Love how you weave these things together so creatively! Thanks for being the first to join our Poetry Friday party this week. Here’s a COOKIE for you! 🙂

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  13. Jama, thank you for introducing me to Romond. So very funny! This: “the house special: ham, pork roll, bacon, and scrapple with a side order of Spam” made me laugh so much. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. So true, isn’t it? But then, I don’t ride a motorcycle and I like bacon, ham, and Spam (you can’t be from Hawaii and not like Spam). So there’s truth to the stereotype thing.

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  14. omg, Jama…I have GOT to stop reading your posts so early in the morning while everyone is asleep. This truly made me laugh out loud. So fun and funny. Love it!

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  15. Oh, what fun–even with a side of division. The Irish Rovers bring me back to 20 years of Milwaukee’s Irish Fest, so thanks for the memories! Today is the St. Patrick’s Day parade, and the current temperature is 8 with a wind chill of -10. I think I will head straight to the post-parade gathering, our family’s first in two years. More Irish music to come!

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  16. How fun for a poem to inspire music, which in turn inspired another poem! A perfect illustration of how art can be in dialogue with other art. I laughed out loud when I got to this bit:
    “Some bikers were even moved to prayer and yelled,
    “God Almighty! how long is this song?”

    Thank you for sharing this with us today.

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  20. This poem is hilarious! I’m going to share it with my Harley-riding husband who is definitely NOT a MAGA fan. A daily dose of music and poetry, especially humorous poetry like Romond’s, would help us all “lighten up!” Thank you for sharing!

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    1. Thanks for reinforcing my stereotype theory. It’s a shame that perhaps the MAGA label has been attached to motorcycle people. Also, red baseball hats have been forever spoiled for me.

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  23. I love everything about your post, Jama – the poem, your thoughts on it, and especially the opportunity to be introduced to a poet I hadn’t read before. And from PA, no less! Thanks for sharing and bringing a smile to my face.

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  24. The poem is great on so many levels. 🙂 Thank you for this! And that tabletop jukebox takes me back to diners from my childhood. 🙂

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  25. Jama, your post is filled with so much fun, social commentary, and a song that has a peppy tune for St. Paddy’s Day. I love Romond’s humor and the cast of characters. N.R.A Omelet on the menu-what a hoot! I leave it to you to always delight your readers, week after week. Thanks for the morning treat.

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