“Brussels sprouts are misunderstood — probably because most people don’t know how to cook them properly.” ~ Todd English

Love ‘em or hate ‘em? Only a small majority of people feel so-so about these spunky green orbs, sometimes fondly referred to as baby cabbages (so cute!).

Perhaps no other vegetable elicits such a strong reaction in kids as well as adults. Despite all the debate, Brussels sprouts continue to inspire artists and poets. 

Did you like them when you were little? Does this poem sound like you?

I HATE BRUSSELS SPROUTS!
by Cynthia C. Naspinski

I know that stink! I have no doubts
That Mom has cooked up some Brussels sprouts.
Of all the things that I despise,
The Brussels sprout would take first prize.

I've blocked my nose and tried to swallow,
Guzzled lots of milk to follow,
But I can tell you nothing works
'Cause in my mouth the taste still lurks.

Once I slipped one in my pocket,
But after dinner I forgot it.
Next day I shoved my hand in there
And gave myself a nasty scare.

In Mom's pot plant I used to hide
A sprout or two, but then IT DIED!
And now my sister's learned to count,
I can't add to her sprout amount.

My dog won't even help me out.
He will not eat a Brussels sprout.
He'll lick his butt, eat possum poop,
But to eat sprouts he will not stoop.

Maybe it is just as well
Because his farts already smell.
He does not need a Brussels sprout
to turbocharge what's coming out!

Please Mom, can we work out a deal
That gets me out of this here meal?
I'd clear the table, do the dishes,
Be your genie, grant you wishes.

I'd clean my room a little later
And feed the dog (that little traitor!).
I'd pull weeds till my hands blister,
I'd even play nice with my sister.

But Mom, it would be best all around
If other veggies could be found,
So we could all just go without
The gross, revolting Brussels sprout!

~ as published by Family Friend Poems (2020).

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Poor Brussels sprouts! It’s only fair to give them a chance to respond, right?

BRUSSELS SPROUTS MAKE THEIR CASE
by Bruce W. Niedt

Look, we know, we understand, we're not your favorite veg;
tomatoes, corn, and broccoli all seem to have the edge.
It's hard to pump excitement up for silly little cabbage,
but give us half a chance, don't just throw us in the gabbage!
All you need's a recipe to be your kitchen guide,
then meet us in the middle; we may get you on our side!
Saute us in some olive oil or butter -- now you're shakin' --
and just for extra measure, you can add some chopped-up bacon!
(All right, then, you can double up the bacon if you wish.)
Toss in some fresh minced garlic for an aromatic dish!
Or stick us in the oven for that extra crispy finish --
perhaps then we'll move up your list: you'll like us more than spinish!
May we suggest a favorite wine? A Chardonnay will suit,
and we know you'll be content, 'cos grape's your favorite fruit!
So raise a toast to us wee sprouts, enjoying a revival,
and cook a bunch of us (with bacon) for your friends' arrival!

~ as published at Your Daily Poem (January 2023).

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Ah, so here’s the thing – when it comes to Brussels sprouts, it’s all about how they are cooked. 

I can attest to this. I didn’t like them when I was a kid, and luckily we didn’t have them very often. My mom probably boiled/steamed them, whole. She certainly didn’t roast them. Big mistake.

Once you overcook them they turn dark, get mushy, and give off that dreaded sulphur smell. 

We did not like those mini cabbages at all, at all. We did not like them here or there. We did not like them anywhere.

Fast forward to making them for Thanksgiving dinner as a young married person (my years in London broadened my horizons – they loved sprouts over there). In my trusty Good Housekeeping Cookbook, there it was – a recipe for sautéed Brussels sprouts. Yes, it called for the all important bacon, as well as chopped onions, a little sugar and a splash of red wine vinegar. And equally as important, the sprouts were sliced in half for more even cooking. So good! And those leaves that came loose and got a little crisp? Even better.

Lately we’ve been roasting our sprouts after tossing them in olive oil with garlic and salt. Roasting truly enhances their flavor. Safe to say, ever since roasting veggies came into vogue, Brussels sprouts have been having a moment. About time.

As a member of the cruciferous family, they’re a nutritious cancer and heart disease fighting superfood, especially rich in Vitamins C and K. They also have more iron, potassium, Vitamin B1, fiber and copper than broccoli.

But don’t take my word for it. Andrea Potos (she of the Laura Ashley dresses and homemade baklava) is a recent convert.

POEM TO THE BRUSSEL SPROUT
by Andrea Potos

     for TJ

Oh much maligned fat-
heads of the garden,
ugly as the Cabbage Patch dolls
of my childhood, for years
I mocked and
avoided you,

then tonight
my brother-in-law, unsung
chef of the family, found you 
on sale at Safeway
and brought you home.
He didn't ask us
what we wanted; he
went ahead and let you sizzle
in a silver pan and God knows
what else:
he tossed in a cupful of water
and let you steam,

then heaped you in a blue
porcelain bowl, your bright green
flounces gleaming like petticoats under
the dining room chandelier
while we tasted and tasted
some more. Forgive me
for all those times I have failed
to see beyond a clumsy presence
to the lusciousness of what
is possible and true.

~ from Her Joy Becomes (Fernwood Press, 2022).

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So, what say you? Yay or nay when it comes to sprouts? What’s your favorite way to eat them? Will they make an appearance on your Thanksgiving table next week?

Enjoy this video of Jacques Pepin preparing a simple recipe for sautéed sprouts.

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Lovely and talented poet and author Irene Latham is hosting the Roundup at Live Your Poem. Be sure to check out the full menu of poetic goodness being served up around the blogosphere this week. Have a nice weekend and an especially delicious Thanksgiving (we’ll be back for PF on Dec. 1). 🙂

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*Copyright ©2023 Jama Rattigan of Jama’s Alphabet Soup. All rights reserved.