I must confess to feeling quite yellow today.
Not yellow as in dingy or cowardly.
Yellow as in sunshiny bright and slap happy. It’s all because I’ve just read a poem that feels like it was written just for me. ☺
Oh, at last! Somebody understands! Somebody KNOWS. And it’s our Children’s Poet Laureate, no less. Phew! I thought I was the only one. Yes, we have some bananas today.
by J. Patrick Lewis
Why not divide the world in two:
Those who don’t from those who do
Detest banana strings? Do you?
I wish bananas just came plain
Without that long mushy membrane,
That nauseating food chain chain.
Take a banana, then start to peel.
Now tell the truth, how does it feel?
And don’t ask me, What’s the big deal?
If I so much as see a string,
I tweezer off the ugly thing
As gummy as a bathtub ring.
Would you eat hot dogs wearing hair?
No! Say good night to this nightmare.
Always eat your bananas bare.
Copyright © 2011 J. Patrick Lewis. All rights reserved.
While we’re in a bare bananas frame of mind, do you by chance also belong to the, “I’m the only one in my house who eats bananas, and hate when the entire bunch ripens at the same time” club? Oh, the pressure to eat them all!
This just in: There’s hope! Supposedly, if you peel a banana top to bottom with the stem side down (like monkeys do), the strings (phloem bundles) are less likely to adhere to the fruit.
I tried this with my breakfast banana the other day, and it didn’t work. Those strings were still clinging and messy and positively mocking me! What am I doing wrong? They just won’t leave me alone. But you might have better luck. My only consolation is that I have Pat’s poem, which I’ll henceforth read several times before battling any future strings.
Phloem bundles? Who knew they had such an important function — carrying nutrients to the entire fruit? Mother Nature doesn’t make any mistakes. But she sure likes to string us along (sorry, couldn’t resist). ☺
Thanks a bunch, Pat!
To alleviate your string stress, wrap your lips around this (no strings attached):
♥ Today’s Poetry Friday Roundup host is Katie at Secrets and Sharing Soda. Feast on the full menu of poems and enjoy your weekend!
♥ Visit J. Patrick Lewis’s official website!
♥ For more monkey business, i.e., a “disturbing new fashion trend,” read this.
♥ To bask in more yellowness, click here.
♥ Yes, there is even a I Hate Banana Strings Facebook Page.
One more thing: Do you peel as you go, or take the entire peel off before eating? I like my bananas totally naked. ☺
Copyright © 2011 Jama Rattigan of Jama’s Alphabet Soup. All rights reserved.